Life Post Lockdown – excited or anxious?

Life Post Lockdown – excited or anxious?

Find a space where you can take a moment to catch your breath.

We are gradually returning to our normal lives here in the UK. How are you feeling about life post Lockdown? Anxious? Excited? Maybe a bit of both..? I really hope this blog post will help you gain some perspective on what you can do about feeling overwhelmed at a time when we feel we should be excited about life returning back to normal.

It has been 16 months like no other hasn’t it? Life as we knew it changed beyond all recognition. We had to learn, and fast, how to manage our lives with a global pandeamic.

Our homes have been our sanctuary over this last year. Love this calming space and gorgeous Olive Tree from Charles Ted

Whatever you feel today is totally OKAY. Repeat that out loud!

How you are feeling in this moment is totally OK..

No one can take that away from you. We have all had our own individual experiences of the Covid-19 pandeamic, some good, some horrific, yet it would be wrong for anyone to suggest how you should be feeling..

 “Vulnerability is not winning or losing. It’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

Brene Brown

You are not alone, 1/2 of the UK are feeling anxious and overwhelmed about the changes to ease Lockdown and indeed what about life post lockdown will now be like. For many of us, we are now used to logging on from home to have meetings, workouts and order our food shopping, all online, without leaving the house.

We’ve learned that our new normal is to stay at home. The commute is as far as from the bedroom, to the kitchen, dining room or study and as we reach these longed for dates, the thought of the work commute on the tube or heavy traffic is something we’ve not missed and the heart starts to race..

Many of us will feel excited, many of us apprehensive. Lots of us maybe feel a bit of both. Join me in trying to navigate these next few weeks together..

“Self-reflection entails asking yourself questions about your values, assessing your strengths and failures, thinking about your perceptions and interactions with others, and imagining where you want to take your life in the future.”

Robert L. Rosen

Let’s take baby steps..

It will take time to find our feet again. (I can’t even remember when I last wore heels!) In all seriousness, much like last March when we were told to stay home, it took time to adjust and adapt accordingly. Now the reverse is happening and again, it will take time us time to adjust and get back into a natural rhythm. Be easy on yourself!

Keep talking! Share how you are feeling with friends, family, colleagues. (and even in the comments below) Be open and transparant, I’m sure they will resonate with you too. This whole situation has been a BIG deal. Our mental health and wellbeing is truly key.

“Journal what you love, what you hate, what’s in your head, what’s important. Journaling organizes your thoughts; allows you to see things in a concrete way that otherwise you might not see. Focus on what you think you need to find in your art.”

Kay Walkingstick

Journal. Consider writing down how you’re feeling. We have good days, great days and everything inbetween and by writing them down, we can distinguish between. Writing down can be freeing, can help figure out what you truely think and can be very therapautic. Love this journal from Gisela Graham
Leather Effect Mini Notebook A6 – Grey

You don’t have to do everything at once! Breathe, take your time.. (Although I’m trying to remain calm about the sports fixtures that are coming in thick and fast for my children and me as taxi driver!!) I shared in a previous blog thoughts about feeling a little happier and less overwhelmed. I believe these ideas haven’t dated in 12 months and so hope you may find some inspiration.

Go at your own pace – if you’ve ever been off work with an illness or had maternity leave, then you may have had a phased return to work before. Much like a return to work, consider adapting your own phasing back to your “new normal” This is a motto I’ve shared on many occaisions and especially with my clients:

Start Low, Go Slow, Aim High

Start Low – With anything new, decide what you want to achieve and start with low expectations. What is the minimal thing you’d be happy with? This isn’t a negative by any means, but by starting with low expectation instantly removes some pressure and you’re more likely to feel in control.

Go Slow – Once you have your new routine in place, take it steady before you start adding new pressures to your daily life. Get used to the new normal, adjust the sails if you need to.

Aim high – Remember the saying “begin with the end in mind?” This concept of aiming high, is similar. You may have had time over the last year to really think about which direction you wish your life to take – so go for it!

I’ve created some planners which I find really useful in keeping me focused and organised which you can find here.

I hope these will give you a little inspiration so that you can create a feeling of being more in control and less overwhelmed. You can then concentrate on the things that are most important to you.

Spend time with people that make you happy, where you can be your true authentic self. Go for a walk in the wind, rain and sun! Make time for the coffee..

Let go of the people in your life who add to the anxiety and stress, or the situations that don’t serve you. So hard to do but trust me, you deserve to be happy and not worry about the people that don’t champion you. This might help..

Pratice gratitude and being vulnerable. It’s no secret that I’m a huge admirer of Brene Brown’s work, having first read The Power of Vulnerability years ago.

She taught me that there is absolutely no shame in being vulnerable, that you don’t have to be in control of every situation.

Easier said than done, I know! Writing down 5 things that you are grateful for can really help gain perspective.

Empty the mind – many struggle to sleep, with the brain starting to whirl the minute you turn out the light.

Keeping a notebook by your bed so you can scribble any thing you think you might struggle to remember in the morning can really help.

How pretty is this one from LifeStyled Planner? The Journal is an A5 bullet journal with high quality pages printed with dotted graph for all of your planning needs. Great for creative bullet journalling and making notes.


“Journaling is paying attention to the inside for the purpose of living well from the inside out.”

Lee Wise

Take care of yourself today, tomorrow and all 365 days of the year.
Beautiful flowers from Bloom and Wild

I really hope this blog post has helped you gain some perspective on what you can do about feeling overwhelmed at a time when we feel we should be excited about life returning back to normal. I’d love to know your biggest take home / lightbulb moment in the comments below, together with how you’ll take action this week.

What will you be keeping in place from our Lockdown days? Maybe you’ve opted to continue to work from home? Maybe you’ve decided to change career altogether?

So that you don’t miss next weeks blog, sign up to receive it straight to your emails, it’s quick and so simple to do, simply follow the link

Whatever you decide to do, stay happy and healthy – those two things are priceless.

Sending love and best wishes

How many times do you catch the ball..?

How many times do you catch the ball..?

“If someone throws you the ball, you don’t have to catch it”

Such wise words from Richard Carlson. In today’s blog I’m sharing his concept from the book “Don’t sweat about the small stuff”. I first read about it years ago and it’s stayed with me ever since. Now in the middle of an on-going pandemic, his words resonate more than ever..

Often our inner struggles come from our tendency to jump on board someone else’s problem; someone throws you a concern and you assume you must catch it, and respond. For example, suppose you are really busy and a friend calls in a frantic tone and says “My job / mother / cat is driving me crazy. What should I do?”

Rather than saying, “I’m really sorry I don’t know what to suggest,” you automatically catch the ball and try to solve the problem.

Then later, you feel stressed or resentful that you are behind schedule and that everyone seems to be making demands on you. It’s easy to lose sight of your willing participation in the dramas of your own life. Does this sound familiar..?

“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” 
Brené Brown

It’s okay to say No..

Repeat that out loud!!

As Richard Carson says “Remembering you don’t have to catch the ball is a very effective way to reduce the stress in your life. When your friend calls, you can drop the ball, meaning you don’t have to participate simply because he or she is attempting to lure you in.

If you don’t take the bait, the person will probably call someone else to see if they will become involved. This doesn’t mean you never catch the ball, only that it is your choice to do so. Neither does this mean that you don’t care about your friend, or that you’re unkind or unhelpful.”

Developing a more tranquil outlook in life requires that we know our own limits and that we take responsibility for our part in the process.

Most of us get balls thrown at us many times each day – at work, from our children, friends, neighbours, salespeople, even strangers. Even those emails and notifications on our phone are balls!

If I caught all the balls thrown in my direction, I would certainly go crazy – and I suspect you would too!

“Will this matter a year from now?”

Ok, so I really didn’t think almost a year on from starting a National Lockdown due to the pandemic, we’d be still working from home and adjusting to a different way of living.. It’s still a very relevant question…

I remember when we were planning our wedding, the vicar told us just a couple of weeks before the big day that she’d double booked us! The invitations had gone out, everything was booked and she said “hmmm let me just check that date again!” and true enough her diary indicated that she was due to marry two couples on the same day at the very same time. More about what happened later….

Humour definitely helps doesn’t it!!

This is much for preferable place to catch a ball!

The key is to know when we’re catching another ball so that we won’t feel victimised, resentful or overwhelmed. Even something terribly simple like answering your phone when you’re really too busy to talk is a form of catching a ball. By answering the phone, you are willingly taking part in an interaction that you may not have the time, energy or mind-set for at the present time. By simply not answering the phone, you are taking responsibility for your own peace of mind.

The same idea applies to being insulted or criticised. When someone throws an idea or comment in your direction, you can catch it and feel hurt, or you can drop it and go on with your day. Not always easy, admittedly, however the idea of “not catching the ball” simply because it’s thrown to you is a powerful tool to explore. I hope you’ll experiment with this one. You may find that you catch the ball a lot more than you think”

Vulnerability is not about winning or losing. It’s having the courage to show up even when you can’t control the outcome.

Brene Brown.

As Brene Brown says, it’s okay to be vulnerable and have the courage to say “no’ You don’t always have to catch the ball…

Very quickly, just to let you know the outcome of our wedding.. to cut a very long story short – the other couple wouldn’t budge on time so we rearranged everything for a little later in the day. The funny thing is now we struggle to remember the exact time we got married, but we can certainly remember the funny side (now!) and that we are still very happy almost 19 years on. I still have visions from the stories told of the Best Man and Ushers running into the church with the flowers as the former bridal party left in their cars!

When we asked ourselves “will this matter in a year…?” We found although it was all a little stressful for a while, it really didn’t!

“It’s outstanding how much ones stress level goes down with the simple switching of skinny jeans to yoga pants”

Unknown

Have you counted how many balls you have caught this week? I know I have caught a few!

Please use this afternoon and the week ahead to look after you and drop a few balls! Let me know how it goes…

Sending love and best wishes,