“If someone throws you the ball, you don’t have to catch it”
Such wise words from Richard Carlson, a concept that has stayed with me for years.
In today’s blog, I’m revisiting this idea through a 2025 lens, because if there’s one thing modern life has taught us, it’s this: we are surrounded by flying balls every single day. Expectations. Notifications. Opinions. Urgent messages. Other people’s emotions, dramas, dilemmas and deadlines. And somehow, without meaning to, we end up believing that we must catch every one.
We don’t.
And life feels so much lighter when we stop trying.
Why Do We Keep Trying To Catch Balls that Aren’t Ours?
Often our inner struggles or stresses come from our tendency to jump on board someone else’s problem. A friend calls in a panic “My job / mother / cat is driving me crazy. What should I do?”
Before we’ve even taken a breath, we’re problem-solving, reassuring, rearranging our day and absorbing the emotional weight of a situation that isn’t ours to carry.
Hours later we feel behind, overwhelmed, resentful or exhausted…
but we forget that we chose to catch the ball.
Sound familiar?
It’s okay to say No..
Repeat that out loud!!
As Carson reminds us learning not to catch every ball is a powerful way to protect your peace.
“Remembering you don’t have to catch the ball is a very effective way to reduce the stress in your life. When your friend calls, you can drop the ball, meaning you don’t have to participate simply because he or she is attempting to lure you in.
This doesn’t mean we stop caring about our friends. it means we honour our own limits.
As Brene Brown beautifully says:
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” Brené Brown
And sometimes showing up looks like saying:
“I’m really sorry, I don’t have the capacity or space for this right now.”
Not unkind. Not selfish. Just honest.
Every Notification Is A Ball.
We all get balls thrown at us constantly, at work, from friends, from our children, even from strangers online. And yes, those little red dots on our phones? Also balls.
If I caught every single one, I’d go mad, and I suspect you would too.
One question I return to often is this:
“Will this matter a year from now?”
It’s not about dismissing real problems, but about gaining perspective.
A Little Story About Our Wedding.
A few weeks before our wedding, the vicar realised she’d double-booked our ceremony. Invitations had been sent. Guests had organised their travel. Everything was arranged and suddenly our time slot didn’t exist anymore.
She checked the date again.
And yes… she was meant to marry two couples at the same time.
We laughed (eventually!), moved the ceremony back a little and carried on.
We celebrated our 24rd wedding anniversary this year and we can’t remember the exact time we said “I do”.
But we can remember the comedy of the best man and ushers racing into the church with the flowers just as the other bridal party drove away!
And the answer to “Will this matter in a year?” was a very clear:
No. Not at all.
Choosing Which balls To Catch.
The key isn’t to avoid catching every ball, it’s noticing when you’re about to catch one unconsciously.
Answering the phone when you know you’re too busy?
That’s catching a ball.
Reading a message when you know you don’t have the energy to respond?
Also catching the ball.
Absorbing criticism that wasn’t meant for you?
Definitely catching the ball!
You can choose to drop it. You can choose not to engage. You can choose peace.
As Brené Brown says:
Vulnerability is not about winning or losing. It’s having the courage to show up even when you can’t control the outcome.
Brene Brown.
And sometimes the bravest thing we can do is say:
“Not today.”
We all need a smile.. A gentle reminder that even the smallest shifts; in clothing, in boundaries, in energy and mindset can create the biggest sense of relief!
“It’s outstanding how much ones stress level goes down with the simple switching of skinny jeans to yoga pants”
Unknown
So, How Many Balls Will You Catch This Week?
I know I’ve caught a few already!
But awareness is everything isn’t it and once you start noticing, you can begin dropping the ones that drain you, distract you or simply don’t belong to you.
Use today and the week ahead, to look after yourself.
Find a space where you can take a moment to catch your breath.
We are gradually returning to our normal lives here in the UK. How are you feeling about life post Lockdown? Anxious? Excited? Maybe a bit of both..? I really hope this blog post will help you gain some perspective on what you can do about feeling overwhelmed at a time when we feel we should be excited about life returning back to normal.
It has been 16 months like no other hasn’t it? Life as we knew it changed beyond all recognition. We had to learn, and fast, how to manage our lives with a global pandeamic.
Our homes have been our sanctuary over this last year. Love this calming space and gorgeous Olive Tree from Charles Ted
Whatever you feel today is totally OKAY. Repeat that out loud!
How you are feeling in this moment is totally OK..
No one can take that away from you. We have all had our own individual experiences of the Covid-19 pandeamic, some good, some horrific, yet it would be wrong for anyone to suggest how you should be feeling..
“Vulnerability is not winning or losing. It’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”
Brene Brown
You are not alone, 1/2 of the UK are feeling anxious and overwhelmed about the changes to ease Lockdown and indeed what about life post lockdown will now be like. For many of us, we are now used to logging on from home to have meetings, workouts and order our food shopping, all online, without leaving the house.
We’ve learned that our new normal is to stay at home. The commute is as far as from the bedroom, to the kitchen, dining room or study and as we reach these longed for dates, the thought of the work commute on the tube or heavy traffic is something we’ve not missed and the heart starts to race..
Postives and negatives about working from home, this was a postive!Homemade cookies and coffee Sunrise walks on Dartmoor was a huge positive to this last year
Many of us will feel excited, many of us apprehensive. Lots of us maybe feel a bit of both. Join me in trying to navigate these next few weeks together..
“Self-reflection entails asking yourself questions about your values, assessing your strengths and failures, thinking about your perceptions and interactions with others, and imagining where you want to take your life in the future.”
Robert L. Rosen
Let’s take baby steps..
It will take time to find our feet again. (I can’t even remember when I last wore heels!) In all seriousness, much like last March when we were told to stay home, it took time to adjust and adapt accordingly. Now the reverse is happening and again, it will take time us time to adjust and get back into a natural rhythm. Be easy on yourself!
Keep talking! Share how you are feeling with friends, family, colleagues. (and even in the comments below) Be open and transparant, I’m sure they will resonate with you too. This whole situation has been a BIG deal. Our mental health and wellbeing is truly key.
“Journal what you love, what you hate, what’s in your head, what’s important. Journaling organizes your thoughts; allows you to see things in a concrete way that otherwise you might not see. Focus on what you think you need to find in your art.”
Kay Walkingstick
Journal. Consider writing down how you’re feeling. We have good days, great days and everything inbetween and by writing them down, we can distinguish between. Writing down can be freeing, can help figure out what you truely think and can be very therapautic. Love this journal from Gisela Graham Leather Effect Mini Notebook A6 – Grey
You don’t have to do everything at once! Breathe, take your time.. (Although I’m trying to remain calm about the sports fixtures that are coming in thick and fast for my children and me as taxi driver!!) I shared in a previous blog thoughts about feeling a little happier and less overwhelmed. I believe these ideas haven’t dated in 12 months and so hope you may find some inspiration.
Go at your own pace – if you’ve ever been off work with an illness or had maternity leave, then you may have had a phased return to work before. Much like a return to work, consider adapting your own phasing back to your “new normal” This is a motto I’ve shared on many occaisions and especially with my clients:
Start Low, Go Slow, Aim High
Start Low – With anything new, decide what you want to achieve and start with low expectations. What is the minimal thing you’d be happy with? This isn’t a negative by any means, but by starting with low expectation instantly removes some pressure and you’re more likely to feel in control.
Go Slow – Once you have your new routine in place, take it steady before you start adding new pressures to your daily life. Get used to the new normal, adjust the sails if you need to.
Aim high – Remember the saying “begin with the end in mind?” This concept of aiming high, is similar. You may have had time over the last year to really think about which direction you wish your life to take – so go for it!
I’ve created some planners which I find really useful in keeping me focused and organised which you can find here.
I hope these will give you a little inspiration so that you can create a feeling of being more in control and less overwhelmed. You can then concentrate on the things that are most important to you.
Spend time with people that make you happy, where you can be your true authentic self. Go for a walk in the wind, rain and sun! Make time for the coffee..
Let go of the people in your life who add to the anxiety and stress, or the situations that don’t serve you. So hard to do but trust me, you deserve to be happy and not worry about the people that don’t champion you. This might help..
Pratice gratitude and being vulnerable. It’s no secret that I’m a huge admirer of Brene Brown’s work, having first read The Power of Vulnerability years ago.
She taught me that there is absolutely no shame in being vulnerable, that you don’t have to be in control of every situation.
Easier said than done, I know! Writing down 5 things that you are grateful for can really help gain perspective.
Empty the mind – many struggle to sleep, with the brain starting to whirl the minute you turn out the light.
Keeping a notebook by your bed so you can scribble any thing you think you might struggle to remember in the morning can really help.
How pretty is this one from LifeStyled Planner? The Journal is an A5 bullet journal with high quality pages printed with dotted graph for all of your planning needs. Great for creative bullet journalling and making notes.
“Journaling is paying attention to the inside for the purpose of living well from the inside out.”
Lee Wise
Take care of yourself today, tomorrow and all 365 days of the year. Beautiful flowers from Bloom and Wild
I really hope this blog post has helped you gain some perspective on what you can do about feeling overwhelmed at a time when we feel we should be excited about life returning back to normal. I’d love to know your biggest take home / lightbulb moment in the comments below, together with how you’ll take action this week.
What will you be keeping in place from our Lockdown days? Maybe you’ve opted to continue to work from home? Maybe you’ve decided to change career altogether?
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Whatever you decide to do, stay happy and healthy – those two things are priceless.
Sending love and best wishes
Hi, I'm Claire
I’m the creator of Woman on a Mission, a lifestyle space dedicated to helping women bring more calm, confidence and balance into everyday life. Born from my own journey to slow down and live with greater intention, it offers inspiration around wellbeing, organisation, home and mindset, one meaningful mission at a time
It will take time to find our feet again. (I can’t even remember when I last wore heels!) In all seriousness, much like last March when we were told to stay home, it took time to adjust and adapt accordingly. Now the reverse is happening and again, it will take time us time to adjust and get back into a natural rhythm. Be easy on yourself! 
