Is It Possible To Be Too Kind?
Is it possible to be too kind? Kindness is something I’ve been chatting about with friends over the past few months and our conversations have been fascinating. How we show kindness, how it’s received and how it fits into our lives, all of it is shaped by our experiences and upbringing.
Kindness can be simple acts like remembering important dates, sending a thoughtful message or offering support when someone is struggling.
A good place to start might be to define the word kindness.
Kindness is a type of behavior marked by acts of generosity, consideration, rendering assistant or concern for others, without expecting praise or reward in return.
WIKIPEDIA
The Oxford English Dictionary, Kindness is “the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.”
For me, kindness all about how act towards others authentically, without expectation or agenda.
One of the lessons my Granny Ruby always taught me was “treat others how we wish to be treated”
To me this means being true to myself while showing care and thoughtfulness.
When Kindness Is Misunderstood
Sometimes, when we act from a genuine place, no matter how genuine your intentions, people may feel that we are too kind which can be misperceived. It can make people feel uncomfortable, obligated, or even suspicious of your motives.
A good example comes from my friend Catherine, who took a bouquet of flowers to a friend remembering the loss of a loved one. Her gesture was misunderstood as it made her friend, the recipient, feel in debt and unsure how to respond, even though the flowers came came from a heartfelt place,
Another friend, Anna, experienced rejection during the pandemic. She checked in on someone struggling with grief, only to be told she was “too kind” and questioned about her motives: “Why are you being so nice?”
These experiences can be hurtful, but they also remind us that how kindness is received often reflects the recipient’s state, not the giver’s intent. Vulnerability, anxiety or past experiences can shape how someone perceives your thoughtfulness.
Why Self Awareness And Boundaries Matter
It’s important to be aware of your own boundaries and to act from a place of authenticity..
If this resonates with you, you may wish to read a blog I’ve previously written about Boundaries and Friendships which might help.
As Audrey Hepburn wisely said:
“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”
AUDREY HEBURN
Your acts of kindness are valid if they come from your true authentic self, without agenda or expectation. It’s not selfish to be kind, it’s simply human.
Reflection: Am I Being Too Kind?
Ask yourself:
Why are we kind to others?
Is our kindness for genuine care, or for the feeling of gratitude it gives us?
How do we feel when our kindness is misunderstood?
Exploring these questions helps us understand our motivations and ensures our kindness is intentional, thoughtful and sustainable.
“How do we change the world? One random act of Kindness at a time”
MORGAN FREEMAN
As we celebrate World Kindness Day, I’m reminded of Morgan Freeman’s words: “How do we change the world? One random act of kindness at a time.” Kindness doesn’t need to be grand—it can be a simple smile, a thoughtful message, or checking in on someone who might need it.
Today, I invite you to perform one small act of kindness and notice how it ripples outwards. I’d love to hear your stories, share your moments of kindness with me in the comments or on Instagram and let’s inspire each other to make the world a little brighter, one thoughtful gesture at a time.
I’d love to see you there. Let’s keep this conversation going!
Love and best wishes
