“If someone throws you the ball, you don’t have to catch it”
Such wise words from Richard Carlson, a concept that has stayed with me for years.
In today’s blog, I’m revisiting this idea through a 2025 lens, because if there’s one thing modern life has taught us, it’s this: we are surrounded by flying balls every single day. Expectations. Notifications. Opinions. Urgent messages. Other people’s emotions, dramas, dilemmas and deadlines. And somehow, without meaning to, we end up believing that we must catch every one.
We don’t.
And life feels so much lighter when we stop trying.
Why Do We Keep Trying To Catch Balls that Aren’t Ours?
Often our inner struggles or stresses come from our tendency to jump on board someone else’s problem. A friend calls in a panic “My job / mother / cat is driving me crazy. What should I do?”
Before we’ve even taken a breath, we’re problem-solving, reassuring, rearranging our day and absorbing the emotional weight of a situation that isn’t ours to carry.
Hours later we feel behind, overwhelmed, resentful or exhausted…
but we forget that we chose to catch the ball.
Sound familiar?
It’s okay to say No..
Repeat that out loud!!
As Carson reminds us learning not to catch every ball is a powerful way to protect your peace.
“Remembering you don’t have to catch the ball is a very effective way to reduce the stress in your life. When your friend calls, you can drop the ball, meaning you don’t have to participate simply because he or she is attempting to lure you in.
This doesn’t mean we stop caring about our friends. it means we honour our own limits.
As Brene Brown beautifully says:
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”
Brené Brown
And sometimes showing up looks like saying:
“I’m really sorry, I don’t have the capacity or space for this right now.”
Not unkind. Not selfish. Just honest.
Every Notification Is A Ball.
We all get balls thrown at us constantly, at work, from friends, from our children, even from strangers online. And yes, those little red dots on our phones? Also balls.
If I caught every single one, I’d go mad, and I suspect you would too.
One question I return to often is this:
“Will this matter a year from now?”
It’s not about dismissing real problems, but about gaining perspective.
A Little Story About Our Wedding.
A few weeks before our wedding, the vicar realised she’d double-booked our ceremony. Invitations had been sent. Guests had organised their travel. Everything was arranged and suddenly our time slot didn’t exist anymore.
She checked the date again.
And yes… she was meant to marry two couples at the same time.
We laughed (eventually!), moved the ceremony back a little and carried on.
We celebrated our 24rd wedding anniversary this year and we can’t remember the exact time we said “I do”.
But we can remember the comedy of the best man and ushers racing into the church with the flowers just as the other bridal party drove away!
And the answer to “Will this matter in a year?” was a very clear:
No. Not at all.
Choosing Which balls To Catch.
The key isn’t to avoid catching every ball, it’s noticing when you’re about to catch one unconsciously.
Answering the phone when you know you’re too busy?
That’s catching a ball.
Reading a message when you know you don’t have the energy to respond?
Also catching the ball.
Absorbing criticism that wasn’t meant for you?
Definitely catching the ball!
You can choose to drop it.
You can choose not to engage.
You can choose peace.
As Brené Brown says:
Vulnerability is not about winning or losing. It’s having the courage to show up even when you can’t control the outcome.
Brene Brown.
And sometimes the bravest thing we can do is say:
“Not today.”
We all need a smile.. A gentle reminder that even the smallest shifts; in clothing, in boundaries, in energy and mindset can create the biggest sense of relief!
“It’s outstanding how much ones stress level goes down with the simple switching of skinny jeans to yoga pants”
Unknown
So, How Many Balls Will You Catch This Week?
I know I’ve caught a few already!
But awareness is everything isn’t it and once you start noticing, you can begin dropping the ones that drain you, distract you or simply don’t belong to you.
Use today and the week ahead, to look after yourself.
Drop a few balls. Protect your energy.
Choose calm whenever you can.
And let me know how you get on.
Sending love and best wishes,
